Today is bittersweet. I woke up knowing that I was going in to publically resign from my ministry position at Cornerstone Fellowship. I knew that I would stand before the other staff leaders I highly respect and have been privledged to serve with. Yet, though emotional, I also knew that this step was an important one in being obedient to God’s voice.
I like comfort and hate change. I like the known and not the unknown. I like routine and not a free-fall. I love the women I worked with and will miss every aspect of what I had the joy of participating in. But, today I turned a page by faith. Trusting God for a new chapter, and new pages in the book of my personal life. I should be exicted and maybe overjoyed, but instead I am relieved to have obeyed God and filling my mind with Scriptures relating to His faithfulness. I will inch through this and I will see God work. I hope you will stay tuned as I begin to blog more regularly about this sacred journey of trusting God.
Here is the letter that I sent to the women in our church:
Since 1997 I have had the privilege of serving the women of Cornerstone Fellowship. The past fourteen years have been some of the best times of my life. I have had the joy of knowing some amazing women, serving alongside some fantastic leaders, and walking with many of you through life’s good times and life’s hardest times.
This summer as I was on a ten week sabbatical I had the opportunity to read, reflect and seek God. One morning while inHawaii, I went out early all by myself to a place called “black rock”. There was no one around except a few snorklers. As I watched the rhythm of the waves and saw the early morning sun, I marveled at how big God is. I began to worship him. As I worshiped out loud on the empty beach, I was reminded of a verse in Colossians 1:16 “All things were created by him and for him.” And, while reflecting on the fact that God created my life for his own purposes and that this Big God had plans for human lives, I felt him speak to my heart.
The message seemed clear, your time as director of women’s ministries at Cornerstone is over, the chapter is closed. It was so clear that I looked around me. It wasn’t what I was expecting to hear that morning. As tears began falling I lifted my hands in surrender. I left that holy ground experience filled with peace. I knew that God had met me there. I continued to pray over those words, the chapter is closed, and I continued to get confirmation that it was God’s plan for me to step down from leading the women’s ministry at Cornerstone.
So it is with mixed emotion that I make this move—joy in following God’s plan for me and deep sadness because I will miss it all. I am reminded of 2 Cor 5:7, “We live by faith and not by sight” and I am challenged to live by faith. In the “seeing” realm I have no idea what my next steps will be. I do not have a future plan. But, in the “faith” realm I will learn to trust Him step by step and day by day. Trusting that God will continue to lead me into this next season or chapter of my life.
It’s funny how things work out, because last year I wrote a book that will be coming out next month. I was writing under a contracted title, In the Meantime. But, after it was written, the publisher changed the title. I kept resisting the change of title. Then one morning in prayer last spring, I felt as if God was telling me to quit fighting it— and that the title would be prophetic over my life, it’s who HE was shaping me to be. The title,
A Woman Who Trusts God—Finding the Peace you Long For, is not the title I would have chosen, but IS the theme of what God is calling me to now— and for the rest of my days. He wants me to learn to trust Him, leaning into His faithfulness completely, totally.
In closing, I want each of you to know how much I have loved being with you. I write this in tears, some of your faces coming to mind, but I know God has great things ahead for the women of Cornerstone. I hope to continue seeing you around and to be able to serve the women in some volunteer capacity.
with love and thanksgiving,