It was 1988, a year that was hard and confusing for me. I was slowly falling into a pit of despair as I watched my life and all that I loved change before my eyes. When my marriage of fourteen years ended, I found myself alone and starting over with two young children.
As a result, I faced personal feelings of worthlessness - head on. At the time I didn't feel that my life had much value. It seemed that I was no longer useful, no longer loved and no longer safe in God's hands. My circumstances screamed, "You can't trust God, you can't trust man, you can't trust ever, ever again!" I felt like I was spinning out of control. I ended up clinically depressed.
In my case, the prescription medications so widely available touched down on my body with extreme side effects. I couldn't take them. In another fit of desperation, I ran to God and His Word. I had no other alternative, no other healer, and no other option if I wanted out of the pit. This time I knew that if God was real and His word was true, my life would change in time - it just had to!
My life did change - not the pain of my circumstances - but the pain in my heart and soul. God healed me through His words of truth. Daily I would take in His love for me as if it were my prescription for health. I would sit with a single truth, swallowing it, digesting it as it become part of me. I interacted with the truth through praying God's word and personalizing the message therein.
I began with reading Psalm 139 slowly and aloud several times each day. I stayed with the message of this Psalm for a very long time. In just this one Psalm alone I found four truths that changed my way of viewing life. It was there that I found the following truths:
- He Knows Me
- He Protects Me
- He Made Me
- He Values Me
What I found was a renewed basis of belief, a new and solid foundation on which to rebuild my life. God didn't show me actually something new, for the truth of His Love has always been found within the pages of the Bible. But, he took me by the hand, and made His Word of Truth, which has been around for thousands of years, New and True to me!
The greatest gift I have ever received was Jesus Christ and through Him a personal relationship with the living God. The greatest life changing truth I have ever received is the reality of God's love "just for me".
This one single gift is changing my life daily as I learn to rely on the love of God, leaning into the truth of love, living in the gift of love and resting in the security of love.